The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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