so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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