we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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