Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize