Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
