pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
