I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize