I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
