my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
