I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
