You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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