god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
