i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
