yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
