Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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