She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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