So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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