What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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