I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
