Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
