I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
