You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
