Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
