I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My pussy is not your playground.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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