HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
