We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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