the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize