so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
