I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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