ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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