i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
