I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
The air taste purple.
Randomize
