He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So much Jack, so little girl.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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