i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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