Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
