Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
