yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
