We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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