now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
