You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
