MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately