just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
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Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??