Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you