Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.