Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.

Fav 10 3491 1354
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.

Fav 76 995 7737
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out

(440): View more from Ohio

seek help.

Fav 24 5403 1011
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.

Fav 4 2465 1121
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(740): View more from Ohio

I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.

Fav 5 3575 1290
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up

Fav 5 2971 902
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.

Fav 6 1318 820
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...

(541): View more from Oregon

Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.

Fav 0 926 572
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.

Fav 3 328 211
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT