WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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