Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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