Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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