i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
