Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
i believe in u and ur pee
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
