The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
