just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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