is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.