Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
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you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
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My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green