cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.