Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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