I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
