And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.