I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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