On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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