at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
