how can u be prego again
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
