you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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