I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
