come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.