i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We had to coat check the pizza.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers