What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records