I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
