ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
