Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
