eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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