Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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