Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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