we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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